We live through times when the pressure of getting married and having kids is far less than it used to be a couple of decades ago. However, it’s not inexistent. We see our friends getting married on social media, having kids and so on, whereas I sit in my kitchen making myself green tea. You get the idea. The pressure is still there.
Now my question is, is there all there is to this? Of course, nowadays we see women pursuing careers and becoming CEOs and important politicians. Things you could not even imagine centuries ago. However, there is still that idea in the air that a woman needs to have a man behind her, guiding her. We are meant to have families and kids.
I want us to destigmatize the idea of being a single woman within today’s society.
1. Single people are lonely and isolated
As a fact, the contrary is true, despite common belief. Single people have more time to connect with their families, friends, go out, do whatever they want. Whereas married people tend to become more isolated and no things “in the couple” rather than shared experiences with others.
2. Single people are not desirable
Have you ever noticed how people tend to somewhat stay away from singles because “there must be something wrong with them” and that’s why they are single. As a matter of fact, more and more people are single by choice, due to their lifestyle or preferences, rather than not being able to find a partner.
3. Too high expectations
If you are single, normal and have no visible issues, your expectations must be too high and you cannot find anyone to fit within them. Although this is most likely so not the case, even if it is, what is wrong with having expectations and refusing to settle? See all the people that settle and divorce a few years later. But mostly it’s just the “aura” singles have, that nobody is good enough to change their status.
4. You have issues
I remember having started dating again after a longer period of singleness and I was surprised at the amount of people that merely asked me, in a straightforward manner “what’s the issue with you?” because apparently there must be one since you don’t have a partner. This not only makes you think of yourself, as a single person that there is indeed something deeply wrong with you but is also a manner in which society perceives you.
These are just some ideas that circulate and are popular when it comes to putting an extra label on the single people. However, coming to think of it, the real problems arise the moment we try to escape from the status of a single person and desperately cling to a toxic relationship. The whole idea is to be ok with ourselves before we could let in anyone else.
Instead of stigmatizing the whole idea of being single, let’s take a look at some of the benefits that the single life actually brings:
1. Get to know yourself better
The only possible way to get acquainted with your true self is through time spent alone. This is one of the reasons why we are so afraid of being single because we realize this would be a moment when we have to face ourselves. However, this is a necessary step because you need to be in order and at peace with who you are before even considering getting involved with another being.
2. You are free to do what you want
For instance, one of my guilty pleasures is eating crisps while watching a movie. It’s unhealthy. I’m aware, I try to not do this on a daily basis but my former boyfriend was very much against it. Each time I even considered opening a bag of crisps he would be all judgmental and sarcastic and I ended up merely eating them when I was home alone. Once we broke up I remember going to the kitchen and looking twice whether he is watching me, like a bad child. And I remembered if that freaking bag of crisps is what I want well damn it I will have it this evening and that’s that! Also, consider getting some inspiration form my article where I talk about what activities could do for great hobbies! It helped me a great deal to try to focus on new passions.
3. Reconnect with people
As I already mentioned above, people who are in a relationship usually tend to lose touch with their friends or family because they invest most of their time and energy into the relationship. However, these are people who have always been there for you and the moment you regain your “single” status you can start building on these relations. Take a look here at why keeping family relations intact is so essential.
4. Embrace your current “status”
Being single is nothing more than a status. It does not define you as a person. As a fact, you are the same you, be it that you are single or married. The fact that currently you have no partner in your life does not define you as a person. And it should definitely not stop you from living your life at its fullest.
These being said, I hope we managed to shed some light upon the stigmas that come with the status of being single and why, in fact they are so wrong. Now go out and have some fun and be enjoy who you are at this very moment.