This might sound a bit too harsh to begin an article with but let’s give it a thought. We live through times when you can get offended for basically anything. There come into existence each day new terms for making things sound more neutral, for offending less people who could get offended.
And at the end of the day this is a great thing, we evolve and altogether vocabulary should evolve as well but being offended by everything and anything people might say, especially when there is most likely no hidden meaning to their words, is not really healthy.
What, me? Never!
First of all, the path towards a better self begins with acknowledging the problem. Ask yourself, “Do I get offended?” the answer will most likely be a huge “No, what? Me?” But then go on and ask yourself if you noticed people feel like “walking on eggshells” around you or if you explode quickly without any obvious reason, if you constantly take things the wrong way and so on. Most likely the answer is yes, my answer would also be yes no matter how much I hate to accept it.
There’s a bright side though! Once you let yourself say yes to your tiny imperfection, we can start finding the cure for it!
- Have a conversation with yourself
Don’t you dare start laughing. I mean it. The first step towards a healthier approach is to just gently talk to yourself. “Did this guy really want to just piss me off?”, “Did he meant what he said the way I interpreted it?”. Just think about the fact that you, as a person, as any other human being, have an opinion. So this this guy that is currently pissing you off. Maybe his intention is to merely let you know about his opinion, his point of view, with no intention of harming your Zen.
- Oh, the interpretations
As I already mentioned above, one of the biggest mistakes we make is interpret things. And yes, it’s really hard not to, since we are subjective human beings and everything we perceive is already filtered through our own point of view. However, many times we get offended merely because something that one said must really mean something else. “If he really cared he wouldn’t be doing this to me”. But the truth is this whole “doing this to me” idea is all in our head. All we see is a creation of our own subjective perspective.
- Are you too sensitive?
I surely am and whenever someone tells me something not only I interpret it in a very personal manner but the wheels of my brain start functioning and I correlate this one sentence or phrase with whole experiences from my past. Bad, very bad. We have to be more detached, not everything that one tells us is intended to hurt us and break our spirit.
- Give truth a chance
I know this is going to sound unpleasant since we all just love to be right. However, at times learning what the truth is or giving truth a chance to reveal itself is more important. Maybe what we hear does not please our ears but what if there’s something to it? What if we can learn something new about ourselves? What if we are not that perfect as we imagine?
- Take a deep breath
Let the conversation run its course. We are often tempted to get pissed from the very first words we might misinterpret. However, if we give it time, maybe the conversation goes towards a wholly different direction and we actually see how wrong we were in our initial judgements.
- Embrace the differences
Most of our issues begin with the fact that we assume that everyone thinks the way we do. Which is totally wrong. Everyone has a different set of values, ideas, perceptions and so on. And if someone does not react the way we expect them to, we get offended. Instead, we could embrace the differences that exist and try to learn how to better cope with different reactions and points of view.
- Love yourself
Many times, without even realizing it, we are harsh and judge fast because of our lack of confidence. Why don’t we truly love who we are and learn how to accept ourselves. See here some steps that get you started on your path towards loving yourself. If we merely embraced who we truly are or the way we are, words could not hurt us so easily. Which reminds me, you might want to take a look at a different story I wrote on this, regarding some main principles for a wonderful life.
All these being said, are you offended already? Hopefully not. Each correction of an imperfection is a long path, nothing happens easily and without work. However, once we notice things we don’t like about ourselves we can start bettering them. Tell us your opinion on this and if you have anything else to add that might have helped you overcome your “offensive sense”.